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Maybe you shouldn't have had a "break". Not saying he didn't screw up, maybe he did... but if you want things to go better next time, thinking about the shortcomings of your ex isn't going to help... all you can do is recognize and admit how and where you can be better. We can only improve ourselves, not others... and hopefully be or become worthy of that which we seek. No good relationship built on the right foundations is going to have a "break"... that's childish over-emotional drama and it's gotta be moved past. Maybe take it slower, sure there will and should be emotions involved obviously, but love, if it is to last, should be measured and rational, and patient. Don't over-commit too soon, but slowly and in stages, but when and if you do, you don't back out or take "breaks" - you deal with things maturely and with fidelity. Drama ends relationships... negative emotions over momentary conflicts fade and are forgotten, so instead of making it some major issue, just give each other the respect and benefit of the doubt and just wait it out, maybe you don't talk much for a few days, maybe you have to talk through some things, maybe there's a few more days after that that you don't talk much because it didn't really give you the resolution you wanted... but if you just chill out and wait, not in the form of some separation or break... that's high school stuff... but as adults, you let the emotionality fade so you can see things in a balanced and reasonable way, where what seemed like such a big deal really isn't anymore, then you move on and it's over, back to a good place, and are building up strengths that help make you immune to such things in the first place, understanding each other better. Maybe none of this will land with you or make sense, who knows... but maybe some of it will. I've had an ultra-dramatic relationship, high highs and low lows... and I've now been married 10 years and going strong, with 90-95% less drama. It's not a roller-coaster of high highs and low lows, it's not supposed to be, the highs aren't worth the trade-off for the lows, not when you know that what you want is that ideal situation, you know... the one where, the person is still there the next day, and the next, and the next, and there's no doubts or fears about that changing, ever, period. Stability, fidelity... love is accompanied by feeling, feelings can fluctuate... but love isn't just that feeling, love is action, and love is choice. All choices for one thing, by definition mean not choosing something else, there is a restriction of choice by virtue of making that choice. That restriction could be other people - attractions, intimacies, possibilities, etc., we say no to that when we say I do... sometimes, we say no to indulging in stupid self-obsessed drama and not getting our way or being the center of the world, an acceptance that life, and other people, are not always going to treat us exactly the way we want to be treated at all times, and that's ok... if we're honest with ourselves, we don't deserve that anyway, since we do the same to others. All that comes from seeing that you guys had a "break". A relationship = a responsibility. We have kids... can we take a break from the kids? No, that would be skirting our responsibility. Does one owe their spouse/love/significant other/partner any less than that? Not in my book, we have the same responsibility to each other; we take this responsibility on voluntarily when we choose to love and be with someone seriously. And while I believe in marriage and what it represents, still the truth is that if you were genuinely serious about that person before you were married, then the act of getting married is a symbol and a public declaration but it doesn't change anything fundamentally about your responsibility, because you would have already had that mindset and that responsibility towards that person before you ever got married. So any serious relationship where that is a hope or an end goal (after having some time to see if that's the case), should already be treated like a marriage, in terms of the level of responsibility you have towards each other.... like, you don't flirt with or seek out other partners, and you don't take breaks because you got upset. That's equally harmful to building trust in a relationship, because it's like... oh well maybe i messed up or did or said something stupid or hurtful, but because of that this person is putting me/us on hold? Well I can no longer really trust that relationship, that person will drop me in a second if I mess up at all, who knows if the "break" will always end, who knows what they're doing during that time, clearly they don't need me, clearly we can't have grace and forgiveness and understanding with each other, and accept apologies. I might as well keep my eyes open for other backup options. So yeah, I don't recommend it.... if something was that bad, you end the relationship, if it's not worth ending it, then you work through it, no "break"... doesn't mean you have to act like best friends and talk or hang out every hour during a time like that, there's a place for some natural distance based on your fluctuating affection over whatever took place, but that's not the same as a break, to talk a little less or go out a little less, but you don't cut off either completely. I can tell you, the high-drama intense relationship that lasted maybe 2 years when i was young, yeah that had a "break" or "breaks"; that was stupid and not worth my time or heartache. But my 10 year marriage and 12 years of being together, never had any breaks early on, or since, because real relationships don't have breaks, unless you want that "break" to eventually become permanent. The drama only goes down with time, not up. Those hormonal swooning longing teenage feelings and flutters of the heart, yeah those fade. But what grows is contentment, happiness, peace, trust; love... the real kind, the kind that answers the question a death cab for cutie song from Plans asked some years back... love is watching someone die: who's gonna watch you die? Who will hold your hand when you're old and lack those youthful qualities and beauty that may attract someone to you today? Will you be alone? Who will be willing to endure the pain of being with you in your final moments? Kind of dark, I know... but it's obvious no one wants to be alone then, or any time really. It doesn't get easier as you get older, to do the dating thing, it only gets harder. Find someone and make it work when you're young. Simultaneously know your worth and your requirements and standards... like obviously you wouldn't put up with abuse or cheating etc., those are supremely reasonable standards to have.... but then there's also the other side of the coin, where you need to just get over yourself, you're not perfect, and no one else is going to be either, so you deal with it and slowly grow together... success is dependent on a number of factors, but namely you need a shared vision, you need to be aiming for the same thing. Do you want a family? That's a good aim. People are like dots, spread at some distance... if your only aim is at each other, you're just going to collide and it'll be violent, exciting for a moment perhaps, but you're not building anything, you've just drawn a little line, wasting that amount of time from the timeline of your lives. But when two dots are aiming at the same point some distance away, well as you travel those dots get closer and closer together as they approach that same goal. If you don't care or don't read this because I'm a random person on the internet, that's ok, I get it, it's kind of odd. But that's the comments section for you, and this is my genuine advice and take, to whatever extent it may apply to you or anyone else. Oh, and nothing beats married life, it's great. Highly recommended. Kids too... so incredible. True unconditional love.

@@Artcore103 There was genuinely nothing I could do. We were long-distance and were in different stages in our lives: me (21) being in college and him (30) already climbing up the career ladder. Despite me wanting to keep us together, he had already decided that these issues were to much for him. He stopped being affectionate to me entirely when these conversations arose and withdrew from me

@@heperfectirl9470 sorry to hear that =/, just gotta learn and move on. That's a big age and life-stage difference.